Nicole Gets One Sentence Right

Self-observed, Nicole Richie had the following to say about her becoming pregnant,

"It was my best friend and I," she said, the "it" referring to the fetus. Another way of saying "it" would be, "The fetus and I are best friends."

"best friend and I" serve as a predicate noun and predicate pronoun in a compound predicate noun phrase linked by the linking verb "was" to the subject "It." Many would have said, "best friend and me," a disagreement in pronoun case with the subject pronoun. With the syntax rearranged, it's a safe bet few would say, "My best friend and me are my fetus and I."

Maternal affection and proper use of the personal pronoun, all in the same sentence. Something to celebrate.

Teeth May Become Impacted, But Judicial Sentences, Certainly Not

Celebrity legal reporter Harvey Levin made a big impact recently misusing the word "impact" when he commented on football star, dog abuser Michael Vick's guilty plea. He said to Larry King,

"If he (Vick) snitches it will impact his sentence." That is, by pleading guilty, Vick indicates he will cooperate with government prosecutors in a way that might lead to more convictions in the dog fighting/killing field.

What Mr. Levin meant to say was that Vick's snitching will likely, influence in a helpful way his ultimate prison sentence.

"Impact" used as a verb means: to physically press firmly on or into something, to pack in. Clearly, nothing will physically press against Vick's court decision. A figurative use of impact allows for the "influence of a person or thing upon another person or thing," in ways positive and negative, but the word is used as a noun usually in a phrase with either "make" or "have" as: Vick's snitching may have an impact upon his sentence.

If Levin made an impact upon the sensitive ears of some of us, the sound of the "collision" stemmed from a fatal error in usage.

Is Michael Jordan a He or a Him, It Depends

Charlie Rose recently asked two-time NBA Most Valuable Player Steve Nash which players inspired him growing up. Nash, who had gone through the entire interview in an ingratiating manner using impeccable grammar then made a gaff:

"He was my hero growing up, him and Isiah Thomas."

The "he" and "him" Nash referred to was Michael Jordan, also known as Air Jordan, or His Airness because of his leaping ability. The second part of Nash's sentence is shorthand for, "He and Isiah Thomas were both my heroes growing up." In speaking and writing it is not necessary to repeat word patterns exactly as listeners and readers understand by context what the speaker or writer intends. A sentence which leaves out certain understood words is called an elliptical sentence. Nash's intended expression: Michael Jordan (he) and Isiah Thomas were my heroes.

Some would suggest that Nash's ear was fooled because "him" appears late in the sentence, a place where objects usually are expected. Whatever the reason, the correct form:

"He was my hero growing up, he and Isiah Thomas."

Is Michael Vick a Thing or a Person? Is He More Than One Person?

Tom Jackson on ESPN opining on Michael Vick's four minute apology for six years of involvement in illegal dog fighting and questioning his contriteness:

"Am I looking at someone that has learned their lesson?"

Two problems here, the first is that Vick, is if fact a person. Instead of the relative pronoun "that" reserved for referring to animals and things, Jackson should have used the personal pronoun "who."

The second problem stems from using "their," third person plural. The case is correct, "their" is possessive (genitive). But Mr. Vick is one person, even while at times appearing to his opponents on the gridiron as two or three. Therefore: We are looking at someone who has learned his lesson. At least grammatically speaking.

Nicole Richie Gets Fraction of Sentence While Her Lawyer Fractures A Sentence

While it appears that celebrity Nicole Richie's reduced jail sentence was in keeping with a federal order to reduce overcrowding in Los Angeles' jails, her lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, clearly ignored the necessary use of an adverb and instead used a noun to modify a verb.

Ms. Holley said her client was "treated like any other inmate in her situation would be treated. I was pleased because she is a celebrity. She wasn't treated any different."

How was Richie treated? She was not treated any differently. The verb "treated" needs to be modified. In what manner, to what degree was, or was not, Ms. Richie treated?

Truly, Richie is different from most ordinary citizens, yet there should be no difference between her and any other malefactor in the eyes of the law. Why is it then, that the media and some politicians are making such a big deal out of this case? Perhaps they don't know differently.

difference, n.,--the fact of being different, disagreement; different, adj.--unlike, not the same; differently, adv

Note: The word "like" is in bold in Ms. Holley's sentence above because strictly, she should have used "as" because a clause follows. "Like" is generally a preposition and should not be burdened with connecting clauses but words instead. Whereas, "as" is a conjunction that may connect clauses. In fairness, this usage is controversial. Notables such as Shakespeare and Darwin preferred "like" to "as" in some instances.

You decide, Should Ms. Holley have said "(Richie) was treated as any other inmate in her situation would be treated."?

Less Qualifications, Few Friends

Charles D. Ferguson holds a B.A. in mathematics from Berkeley, and a Ph. D. in political science from MIT. By degree, Dr. Ferguson is obviously a man of both letters and numbers. However, speaking of the mistakes made in Iraq by Paul Bremer, Director of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance, and others just after the successful military invasion of United States troops, Ferguson broke a convention in the uses of "less" and "few." He said:

"Of the first 400 people who went into Iraq, less than a half dozen spoke Arabic..."

Dr. Ferguson should have said: "fewer than a half dozen spoke Arabic" because "few," "fewer" refer to number.

John B. Opdycke in the Harper's English Grammar tells us: "Few" refers to number and numbered units. "Less" refers to quantity. The Oxford English Dictionary defines "few" as "not many, amounting to a small number," and defines "less" as "of not so great size, extent or degree; of inferior dimensions, bulk or duration."

To paraphrase, Ferguson was not referring to their bulk or dimensions when he referred to Arabic speakers, he was referring to their number. In fact, he offered a numerical reference in the same sentence: a half dozen, or six. Some may ask, does this convention matter. The answer perhaps lies in the aesthetics of the utterance. It may only matter for those who know the difference. For those who do know, such an utterance is a particular thing of beauty, and misuse of the words may sound ugly or even tend to confuse.

Certainly, Dr. Ferguson meant number, not "size, extent, or degree" of Arabic speakers. However, he might have said correctly, "Though the 400 who arrived under Bremer, head of the Coalition Provisional Authority for post-war Iraq were not few, they possessed less qualifications than were required for a successful operation."

Or, more pointedly, "Because L. Paul Bremer and his proteges possessed less qualifications than desirable, the result was the United States wound up with few friends in Iraq."

Brain or Brains?

My wife and a good friend recently engaged in a friendly argument over the use of the word "brain." The friend claimed that the word may only ever be used in singular form. If she meant as used for the "...mass of soft gray matter in the skull," my wife's friend is correct when we are speaking formally. "Albert Einstein possessed a good brain." It is more "dignified" to use the singular brain to describe the qualities of wit or smartness (Fowler's Modern English Usage).

However, when describing someone informally as witty, clever, or smart, we tend to use the plural brains. If my wife was thinking of choice based upon circumstance, then she is correct. In informal, familiar situations, use the plural brains.

"Adam Sandler is a comedian with brains." Note, a useful adjective exists for our use: brainy. "Dick Cavett, a talk show host in the 1970's, proved a brainy interviewer."

Fowler also tells us that some phrases only permit use of singular or plural. No choice exists whether speaking formally or informally. You would never describe a melody that won't leave your head saying, "I can't get that tune out of my brains. " Nor would you say, "The man blew his brain out."

Is Daunte Culpepper a Person, or a Thing? He's Both

Lane Kiffin, the young head football coach of the Oakland Raiders, on offering veteran quarterback Daunte Culpepper a tryout commented, "Obviously, Daunte is something that we've been looking into for a little bit."

Ok, Culpepper is certainly not a thing, he's a person, yet to say he is "something" is not incorrect. "Something" may be used either as an indefinite pronoun or noun. In the clause,
"Daunte is something," "something" is a predicate noun linked back to the subject, "Daunte." The "something" that signifies Daunte is more definitely stated as prospect, or an opportunity for improvement for the Raiders.

To be fair, Kiffin had earlier said on the subject of the tryout, "Any time that we have a chance to investigate something that can help our team win, we're going to do it." In this context, Kiffin clearly uses "something" to mean opportunity for improvement in the shape of a person. Some grammarians might say here that "something" is used as Meiosis, or ironical understatement. Most of us have used the expression, "Wow, he (or she) is really something." We understate for effect. What we really mean is, "Wow, he (or she) is really a good quarterback prospect, opportunity for improvement, actress, mathematician" etc.

If Kiffin had spoken more directly, something that football coaches don't like doing because they love understatement, he might have said, "Daunte is someone we've been looking into for a bit." We may add, if Culpepper pulls the Raiders out of the basement, that would really be something.