Silly Similies, Mediocre Metaphors

The object of using similes and metaphors is to "enlighten (emphasis mine) the (listener or reader) by submitting to him a case which he has apparently no concern, and upon which therefore a disinterested judgement may be elicited from him." Fowler's Modern English Usage.

Additionally, a simile is a "comparison proclaimed as such, whereas a metaphor is a tacit comparison (emphasis mine) made by the substitution of the compared notion for the one to be illustrated.... Metaphors serve as a means to explain or persuade; similes compare things of real or supposed beauty." Fowler.

Now that we've established the rules , let's look at a few similes and metaphors found in student writing.

"Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master."

If the woman's face was a "perfect oval," then it could not be an oval, which is "a rounded symmetrical shape longer than it is broad." Oxford Mini Dictionary. An imperfect oval may more likely be said to resemble a circle because it's not perfectly an oval. Also, do circles or ovals have "sides"? A tangent is a straight line that touches a curve, but a curve with sides? Finally, if a simile compares things of real or supposed beauty, what must be the outcome of a face compressed by a thigh master? Can working with a thigh master be described as a "gentle" operation? Nothing "of beauty" is compared here.

Silly similes like the one stated above serve to distract the reader or listener from the thing compared. That is not the point.

We'll be looking for silly similes and mediocre metaphors in the news.

Putting Out Missing "Dangling Element" Fires

George Skelton in his Capitol Journal column in the Los Angeles Times emphasized the value of governors consoling their constituents in a purely human capacity after such disasters as the recent Southern California fires. Skelton, who has covered Sacramento politics for decades, evaluated some past performances:

Arnold Schwarzenegger "does well at the hand-holding." Pete Wilson, "normally awkward, exhibited strong leadership after the 1994 Northridge earthquake." "George Deukmejian appeared aloof, his natural personality." Skelton describes Edmund G. Pat Brown's performance after the terrible North Coast flood of the 1960's as "an all-time verbal fumble" when the former governor stated: "This is the worst disaster since I was elected governor." To the ear, at least, he did himself no favors.

The late governor Brown, father of Jerry Brown, current California State Attorney General and also former governor, provided a text book example of a "Dangling Elliptical Clause." (An elliptical clause is a dependent clause with an implied subject and verb. The implied subject is assumed to be the subject of the sentence. Improving Composition, Carol Compton, Educators Publishing Service).

In Brown's sentence, the dependent clause is "since I was elected governor." The implied subject and verb are: My election as governor is the worst disaster. To fix dangling elements add necessary elements and/or rearrange the syntax of a sentence (the word order). Brown might have said: "In my time as governor, this flood is the worst natural disaster we have faced."

Position on USC's Offensive Line Important, Position of Adverbs Also Critical

At six feet five inches tall and three hundred five pounds, the University of Southern California's All-American tackle Sam Baker stands, and crouches imposingly. But he's also a thinker and inspirer, as superior modern lineman must be. Coach Pete Carroll (see earlier entry) says of Baker, "We get great leadership from Sam, and his tenacity and savvy carry over to the other guys." Thus, it disappoints that Baker has sustained a lingering leg injury.

Line coach Pat Ruel recently said, "(Baker) will only play if freshman Butch Lewis gets hurt." "Only" as an adverb in this position clearly modifies the verb "play." However, does the placement indicate that coach Ruel will not play anyone else on the line if Lewis is hurt? It is not absolutely clear. A worse way to express the thought would have been to say that Baker only will play if Butch Lewis gets hurt. Same problem, indicates yet more firmly that Baker will be the sole man on the line. This would put an unnatural burden on the USC offense.

"Only" is defined in the Oxford Mini Dictionary as without anything or anyone else; and that is all. Although SC has been formidable the past few years, this year, the offense has sputtered. Baker alone on the line, as good as he is, would appear to give opposing teams a distinct advantage.

Perhaps Ruel should have placed the adverb after the verb and before the conditional clause if freshman Butch Lewis gets hurt, which would clearly connect the idea of when Baker would play. Baker will play only if Butch Lewis gets hurt, rather than Baker only will play if Lewis gets hurt. That is, take care to leave the helping verb "will" right next to the verb "play."

It is true, I'm quibbling here, but just to make a point: while adverbs are the most versatile of the parts of speech in that they may be placed almost anywhere syntactically, (how the words are arranged in a sentence, where they are placed) they should be placed where they insure exquisite, unambiguous meaning. Otherwise, at times, arguably fuzzy meanings may occur. It may not always matter, yet, it may matter at times in ways that distract the reader from clear meaning.

Again, we understand logically what Coach Pat Ruel intended. The point is that when something is expressed in writing, the meaning may be construed differently from what the speaker intended. As a writer, become sensitive to this concept, especially where adverbs are concerned.

Subject, Verb Agreement...for Pete's Sake

The University of Southern California's peppy coach, Pete Carroll was asked his opinion concerning the Trojans relatively low ranking in the first BCS poll of the season. Pete implied that the Trojans' upset loss to Stanford didn't help, but that other esteemed teams also lost:

"There's a lot of teams that lost last weekend that weren't supposed to lose..." he said.

Technically, Pete should have stated: "There are a lot of teams that lost..."

There is used in this sentence as an expletive: A word serving to fill out or occupy space in a sentence. OED. There is often used like it to serve as a "temporary subject" until the real subject appears later. In coach Carroll's sentence, the subject is lot which is a plural noun (a number of people or things). Therefore, There are...teams....a lot of them.

Yet, Pete is off the hook because There's is idiomatic* for there is, there are. "There's a lot of teams." (plural use). "There's my number one quarterback." (singular use). Uh, is it John David Booty or Mark Sanchez. We won't go into that just now.

*a phrase or expression peculiar to a language

Continual, Continuous: Reward offered for your grammar "police work"

When to use which:

Continual: That which occurs in intervals (little breaks in between) but which "never comes to an end, or is perceived never to come to an end). Oxford Mini Dictionary, Fowler's Modern English Usage

Used as adverb: "Madge continually cried during melodramatic movies." We assume Madge stopped periodically for popcorn or wipe her nose. You can always expect Madge to cry when sitting through a melodramatic movie.


Continuous: That which has no interval, no break occurring between the beginning and the end, or something presumed not to end. Fowler's Modern English Usage

Used as adverb: "One's heart beats continuously until one expires." Thank Goodness.

Note: sentenceparts is offering a reward to anyone who can catch a notable person confusing "continual" or "continuous" on television, in the newspaper, in a magazine, or in a movie. It matters not whether the notable person misuses either adjective or adverb form of the words. The reward is a video & handbook demonstrating how to write standard essays, a $50 value. Your response must be documented and quoted exactly as it was written or spoken. Sentenceparts will celebrate your achievement in a special blog. Offer expires October 31st.

Brevin Knight Implied or Inferred That He Made a Wager?

Jerry Crowe in the Los Angeles Times' sports section, page 2 column, used infer when he meant imply.

He said, referring to Brevin Knight, an NBA basketball player: "With the NBA's referee betting scandal still fresh in fans' minds, was it really wise for new Clippers point guard and Stanford Alum Brevin Knight to infer this week that he laid down a wager on his alma mater's game against USC?..."

Since knight was speaking, communicating some thought, he had to imply the thought. He was the agent of the thought. "To suggest without stating directly." Oxford Mini Dictionary.

To infer is receive suggested information, it is "to reach an opinion from facts or reasoning." OMD.

Nevertheless, we agree with Mr. Crowe's inference, his opinion of Knight's poor choice.

Breaking News for KCAL (CBS) Anchor: a Tall Ship Differs from a tall ship

Coast Guard works to rescue a three-masted, Tall Ship or a three-masted, tall, Tall Ship in distress off Long Beach, California

A newsreader on KCAL, a Los Angeles CBS television affiliate, reported a happy ending for a chartered vessel off Long Beach in choppy Pacific waters in recent "Breaking News."

(note: The quotation below is punctuated according to the pronunciation and cadence used by the news reader.)

Newsreader: "A three-masted, tall, ship with forty people aboard has managed to re-enter Long Beach Harbor after taking on water about seven nautical miles from the coast."

The problem here is that as she read the prompter, either the newsreader failed to understand that the text referred to a Tall Ship, or the text itself steered her off course. A Tall Ship is a "large, traditionally rigged sailing vessel. Popular modern Tall Ship rigs include topsail schooners, brigantines, brigs, and barques." Wikipedia.

According to the way the news reader, a Ms. Lee, read the piece, we are forced to ask the question: Was it a three-masted Tall Ship, or a "three-masted, tall, Tall Ship" she was describing?

Since all Tall Ships are fairly long and tall, a tall Tall Ship (a "cumulative adjective" see below) would be redundant, needlessly repetitive. Yet by the way she said it, this is what she was describing, whether she intended it or not. If the text she read from on the prompter read: "A three-masted, tall, ship..." (a "correlative adjective" see below) then, the copy editor is at fault. Either way, the copy should have been read: "A three-masted, Tall Ship...."
Three-masted serves as a derived, attributive adjective--it is not a pure adjective, it is made up of a number of words. Nevertheless, it is providing a description, an attribute of the Tall Ship. The confusion comes with the phrase Tall Ship. In this compound noun phrase, the word "Tall" is itself describing "Ship." Whose fault was it, The news reader or the copy editor?

From EnglishPlus.com: The rule for punctuating: Commas go between everything except attributive adjectives that are cumulative or have a modifier.

Coordinate Attributive Adjectives:

If two adjectives modify a noun in the same way, place a comma between the two adjectives. These are called coordinate adjectives.

There is a two-part test for coordinate adjectives:

(1) Can you replace the comma with the word and?

(2) Can you reverse the order of the adjectives and keep the same meaning?

If you can do both, then you have coordinate adjectives.

Correct: Did you read about Macomber's short, happy life?

Test for Correctness: Did you read about Macomber's short and happy life?

Did you read about Macomber's happy, short life?

All three sentences say the same thing, so the adjectives are coordinate adjectives and separated by commas in the original.

Cumulative Adjectives (a type of Attributive Adjective)

If the paired adjectives fail the two-part test, then no comma is used. This shows that they must remain in a certain order to make sense. These are called cumulative adjectives--they must maintain a certain order

Incorrect: The former, overweight woman told us how she lost fifty-five pounds.

Test for Correctness: The former and overweight woman...
(Makes no sense)

The overweight, former woman...
(A former woman? At best the meaning is changed.)

Clearly, no comma is needed for these cumulative adjectives.

Correct: The former overweight woman told us how she lost fifty-five pounds.

A device to help remember this punctuation rule is to keep in mind a common expression like Christmas tree or fire truck. We say, "green Christmas tree," but not "Christmas green tree." We say, "red fire truck," but not "fire red truck." Such cumulative expressions take no comma.